Holidays and the kids birthdays can be terribly difficult since their deaths.
Surprisingly enough on my birthday this Sunday I found myself struggling a bit, here's why.
This is one of the few days when I am truly the center of attention, not the attention giver and thats a hard role for me.
We had a nice dinner out, my mom, my husband, my son-in-law and daughter, the boys and my son. I sat and watched all of the people I love gathered around me and I am reminded of all that I have in my life and I am grateful. At times like this however I can't help but see the empty seats at the table in my mind and feel their absence in my heart.
Since the accident I tend to get a bit emotional about these things, here is what my sons card said.....
I love you as a Mom
the wonderful woman
who has done more for me
than any other person in the world.
I love you as my friend,
someone who understands me,
takes time to listen,
and truly cares about
how I'm doing.
I love what you made me-
a happy child,
a grateful adult,
and someone who will always
look up to you.
Happy Birthday
and then the tears came.
We sort of passed my birthday without much recognition this year, until a couple days later. Then we all went out to eat. It was easier for me that way, somehow. But even then, I thought the whole time about the last time we were at that restaurant and how impressed Mattias had been with the man cooking right at our table.
ReplyDeleteI so enjoy the stories you tell about Tiggy, he sounds so adorable.
ReplyDeleteTalking about mine has always been a struggle,thinking about them has always been so much easier for me.