I'm going to write a regular post starting today , about things I think are important or interesting-something personal to me but not exactly private.
I thought I'd tell you about my big day. For me a bitter/sweet day; one that I have been both planning and dreading for a long time. My therapist and I had our final session today.
Anyone familiar with the process of therapy knows you have goals that you hope to accomplish, and if you're lucky and you have a good working relationship with your doctor you have a better chance of achieving whatever they are. I was understandably a mess in 2006, we did a lot of work together. I can honestly say I worked my ass off, had more painful moments than I care to recall or admit.
And now, four + years have passed and it was time for me to move forward, therapy free. I have regained my sense of self, I am a women with more balance in my life, I am back to most all of the activities and relationships I enjoyed and was involved with before. That feels not quite like before, it's more like my "new normal". My life now is mostly without that fear and anxiety that had kept me from moving forward- letting go- that- my constant challenge since the accident that took the life of my son and daughter.
So I'm on my own for now, no more scheduled visits to the leather couch with the orange-ish pillow. He saved my life and then helped me put the pieces back together, make some sense of it all. I have an attachment to this relationship, there is no doubt. What makes today a good day is the sure feeling- the knowledge that I don't need it anymore.
The good news is you get to symbolically take-em with you. Spend enough time in a room with a therapist, you hear him in your head after a while. The expression "it's all in your head", how true this is! That expression holds a new meaning for me now- and it's all good.
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