teacher- learn your lesson

Write a memoir post about a memorable school trip.

Two by two the 'like' children walked towards the school bus and I thought to myself with a bit of sick humor 'kinda like the Ark', but oh how this is such a different story. And as I took my seat with my grandson and his buddy I couldn't help but reflect on how I had  came to be on that bus.


"Oh you'll love this teacher, she looks like the old women in the shoe," my daughter said describing my grandsons teacher.

All sorts of images popped in my mind, my daughter was recruiting me for a school trip to the pumpkin farm with a my middle grandson . She and my son in law were working so I gladly stepped up to the task; I just love hay rides; certainly not as much as love being with the grandchildren however.

"I'll be there, can't wait," I told Heather. 

I showed up at Emmanuel's classroom at the appointed time and the classroom was abuzz with excitement. All the children milling around full of energy ready to get on the road. I introduced myself to the teacher and  found out all the other chaperons were moms and dads I was the only grandma in the bunch, but hey that was fine by me!

The teacher proceeded to break the kids into groups; two children with each adult, their own child and one other child.  She paired the white kids with white kids, Hispanic children with Hispanic children, and children of color with children of color. The only exception was ours the group that gave her no choice; you see my grandson is bi-racial my daughters husband is African American and we're white and she assigned me an African American child.


I was troubled by the racial pairing. It wasn't my child it wasn't my place to ask but why didn't she mix the races? If I were a parent I would have asked. I was troubled, if he were mine.

When we arrived at the farm we went about our day enjoying the festivities and it was clear that the children had their own ideas about who they were going to pair up with. Kids are amazing even at the youngest ages, they know who their friends are and who they want to play with. Friendship has no color it surly is blind. It was good to see that there was a patchwork of girls and boys of different ethnic origins rearranging the teachers pairings with the chaperons changing places with one another so that they could be with their friends. 


Teacher learn your lesson, these children can teach you a thing or two about race and friendship.... were you paying attention?

could you imagine a mommy limit?

My daughter Heather and I were chatting on the phone today, firming up arrangements for the family get together's planned for this Thursday and into the holiday weekend; confirming when her brothers off, when my brother and family arrives and when my husbands ex gets into town with her little niece Jess. You see the day is fast approaching, the five year anniversary of Gretchen and Eric's death. July 3rd is the day.


Anyway during our phone conversation Heather told me her little cousin is going to stay with her and her hubby for five weeks. The child is a cute little fifth grader and is being raised by a disinterested mother, my husbands exes sister. The little girl text-ed her today to tell her how happy she was to come' live' with her. The use of the word live instead of visit or vacation sent up a bit of a caution signal to my daughter. Lets face it, there's a difference between visiting and living so my daughter naturally followed up.Wanting to make sure the child knew that there was an end date to the arrangement, that she would be returning home in time for school to start.

My daughter and her husband are wonderful and loving parents to my three grandsons, they have a lovely home which is "that home". All the kids in their community are always welcome and tend to gather there to play because it is so welcoming and comfortable.

She made sure the child understood that it was a visit and they talked about some of the fun things we had planned for this weekend and beyond. Then as mothers do she said to the child." after all Jess you'll miss your Mommy and be ready to go home after five weeks won't you?" To my daughters dismay the child replied quickly "no not really I've lived with her long enough."

And with the shadow of my loss looming ever so much closer I can't help but reflect on what type of mother I was to my children when they were little and who I am to them now that they have grown. And  in all the days since Gretchen and Eric have passed and in the days to come not only will keep those memories close but I will continue to honor my children who are still with me in the hope that they will honor me.

Maybe I've just lived a sheltered life. I cannot in my wildest dreams ever imagine those words passing a child's lips; any child's lips. Little girls that age are supposed to have such a special connection with their mommies, they not only want to be with them, they want to be them.  How is it that a small child could have reached her mommy limit; is there such a thing as a mommy limit for a child?

Could you ever imagine your child saying such a thing?