my leg wound, a cow and a penis?

My head is spinning, yet another week has past and my leg trauma drama read here continues with another therapy. The wound vac      (negative pressure wound therapy) is gone for now and am now being treated with what they call an unna boot. The wound vac as it happens was damaging the skin around my wound so they decided to give me a break hopefully for good.*fingers crossed*

This new thing the unna boot is a wet gauze bandage soaked in zinc ointment which will heal my wound and help treat my damaged skin surrounding it. Then on top of that they wrap this other type of dry ace type bandage- tightly. Its wrapped from the arch of my foot to just below my knee, my legs feeling a bit claustrophobic- can that happen?

Truthfully, it's rather like wearing wet underwear and putting dry pants on top YUCKY! This stays on 24/7 like the dumb vac. I have to put an knee high stocking so my leg doesn't get plastered to the sheet at night and keep my leg up for hours on end during the day so it doesn't swell. This whole affair which started as a simple bruise and a few blisters is just getting more and more bizarre every week.

If I could run out to the mailbox every day to see if my insurance pre-authorization is in the box, believe me I would. Tomorrow, I think I'm gonna pre-schedule an anointing with my parish priest- some priest will do it some won't, we'll see about my new pastor. I thinking positively that the ok for the skin graft will go thru and I'll be good to go on all fronts.  That might happen in three weeks, prayers please!

I wish to heaven I was an accomplished humor writer because I was doing a bit of research on the type of skin graft he's planning to use (Apligraf),  I read that the skin is made from the cells from infant foreskin (that would be from a penis for those of you who live in a cave and are not informed on what foreskin is) and bovine collagen; no lie. Like skin from my ass wouldn't have been funny enough! This is just to funny and will have to wait for another post.

"swim charlie swim" - when dogs pee to much

Do you have funny stories from your childhood that just make you laugh? I have tons of them actually, most from my days on the beach and my friends on the block. We had some good times during the summers of my childhood. Maybe you missed the story of my friend Mary and I as we watched the neighbor boys tie their Nanny up in the yard and cut her hair off in a friendly game of cowboys and Indians? You can read it here if you missed it girls-and-indians.

I was thinking today of another story this one had to do with a bunch of dogs who liked to pee on the fence A LOT!

My dogs names were Major and Smokey and my Aunt and Uncle's dog was named Duke; they were all Shepherds.My friend Mary lived right next door and there was a chain linked fence separating our yards, her much smaller dog was named Charlie Brown. The dogs, all male would wile away the hours rotating peeing on the fence, one after another like a ballet.

One night Mary and I were sitting at the curb directly in front of the gate to her yard. And there to our right was the four male dogs having their nightly pee fest. Then we heard a noise to the left, the neighbor on the other side had company, oh their company had a dog. OH SHIT it was a big dog a Great Dane.

We watched as if in slow motion as little Charlie Brown made his way over to the fence and started to lift his leg. The giant Great Dane did the same and poor Charlie Brown didn't know what hit him as pee rained down all over his little brown little body.

Then as if out of the blue from the doorway behind us we heard Mary's mother in a soft voice dripping with disgust say calmly but with humor that was hard to miss, " swim Charlie swim, swim Charlie swim." 

We sat on the curb and just giggled and giggled; I'm not sure what was funnier that Charlie was soaked with pee or that Mary's mother thought that the whole thing was so darn funny. We were maybe thirteen at the time and Mom's were not funny EVER then!

How about you; cute memories of childhood or favorite pet stories that you remember and would like to share?