tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post1676194249885384432..comments2023-09-25T09:59:41.021-04:00Comments on Its all about me jen: words matter- the callAnonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/10204165708189660644noreply@blogger.comBlogger7125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post-62947497455386026312011-04-18T14:28:28.678-04:002011-04-18T14:28:28.678-04:00Jen
Don't worry I have your back door.
Jim D...Jen<br /><br />Don't worry I have your back door.<br /><br />Jim DorchakJim Dorchakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14430848125368240962noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post-64015005526050556062011-04-18T13:18:15.863-04:002011-04-18T13:18:15.863-04:00Oh how right you are Jim.
And I remember how gent...Oh how right you are Jim.<br /><br />And I remember how gently my therapist handled this with me. He asked me,"how long do you think would be reasonable for him before he should move on"? <br /><br />And then of course I could see I was expecting him to feel what I had felt,how possibly could he? It took time to see past my pain to see that it wasn't up to me to decide or to judge.<br /><br />Thanks for your words Jim, I know you understand.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10204165708189660644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post-23960290177310229422011-04-18T11:57:41.510-04:002011-04-18T11:57:41.510-04:00I do hurt for you Jen.
I should say that my othe...I do hurt for you Jen. <br /><br />I should say that my other children do not live their grief as my wife and I live ours. I am sure that this is similar for your son in law. <br />I explained to my wife that our children look at life to be lived to the fullest and a future. You and I look at the future as empty (at least partially) because of the hole in our hearts that can not be patched. We can not replace our lost ones. A marriage is a different type of love, just like being a sister and brother is different than being a parent. <br /><br />I was hurt and so was my wife that my children did not feel the pain we were feeling. They could not because it was a different kind of love. This was hard for us to get our hearts around.<br /><br />Now today, I thank God that they did and do not have the same pain and grief that Lori and I do. I would not wish it upon anyone. I thnk you are the same. It was selfish of me to think that maybe my pain would be less if their's was more.<br /><br />Also remember that you and I know many married couples who have lost a spouse and later re-married. Maybe this is your son inlaws way of re-marrying with out finding a new wife. You do not know, of course I do not either... but we can both pray.<br />I hope this helps some.<br /><br />Jim Dorchak<br />http://qm2ss.blogspot.com/Jim Dorchakhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13136957324863454680noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post-70551564727873819562011-04-18T09:01:03.849-04:002011-04-18T09:01:03.849-04:00Thanks Dana,
The purpose in writing that piece w...Thanks Dana, <br /><br />The purpose in writing that piece was to share a moment of my grief as I felt it.<br /><br />I've asked myself a hundred times why at the time I couldn't be happy that he was happy with his new business.<br /><br />I guess in my mind as long as he was experiencing grief/sadness then she had value meant something to him.<br /><br />And that day I was met by a man experiencing happiness and of course was unprepared emotionally that he was beginning moving on process.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10204165708189660644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post-76304855757493755032011-04-18T03:26:42.453-04:002011-04-18T03:26:42.453-04:00Jen, I am so sorry. I don't even know what to ...Jen, I am so sorry. I don't even know what to say. I would understand awkwardness on his part and perhaps even silence. I don't know. There are just so many unexpecteds in this whole grieving thing, you just don't know how to react to anything, or what to expect in any given situation.Danahttp://roscommonacres.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post-52911855780413157932011-04-15T20:52:16.903-04:002011-04-15T20:52:16.903-04:00I remember sitting there shaking with so much emot...I remember sitting there shaking with so much emotion that day Claire. I'm afraid we suffered more than a few events like that one; then sadly the relationship ended. <br /><br />My sorrow comes not for us however it's for our daughter. <br /><br />She would be terribly sad, and my heart is heavy knowing that.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10204165708189660644noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6746773154622058120.post-54660258499258634822011-04-15T20:25:45.867-04:002011-04-15T20:25:45.867-04:00Wow. So powerful. So bittersweet. I can't imag...Wow. So powerful. So bittersweet. I can't imagine what that must have felt like, and how heavy your heart must've felt...Clarehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07088277258702907519noreply@blogger.com